Chapter Nine of Roswell Revisited 2014


Rick: Well, there are two possibilities. One is that they took him back to the Air Force Base for questioning. The other is they took him out to the desert to shoot him.

Dwight: Rick, The Air Force wouldn’t take Mick out into the desert to shoot him. Heaven forbid!

Rick: Have you ever heard about Hiroshima, Dwight?

Dwight: Oh, yeah. I hear what you’re saying now.

Rick: That’s the reason that I’m the lead broadcaster and you’re my assistant.

Dwight: I didn’t know that. I always thought it was because you married the owner’s daughter.

Harvey: Come on, Hoss. We’ve got to get the keys to the truck back.
We’ll go to the Air Force Base first. If Mick’s not there then we’ll search the desert for him.

Hoss: One problem, Harv. How do we get out to the desert?

Harvey: We”ll go to the compound and get your car.

Hoss: But what if our supervisor recognizes us?

Dwight: Look you guys, there’s some cartoon character costumes in our storage room. Feel free to use them as disguises.

Narrator: Hoss dresses up as Elmer Fudd and Harvey dons the Yosemite Sam costume. As Harvey and Hoss leave the radio station Rick and Dwight are laughing so hard that tears are running down their cheeks.

Rick: Dwight, whose keys are those hanging on the hook in the office?

Dwight: I don’t know. I found them on the floor after the Air Force
guys took Mick away.
Act Seven Scene Three:

Narrator: Harvey and Hoss, the two dogcatcher start walking back down and about 30 minutes and make it back into the downtown area of Roswell.

Harvey: Look, Hoss. There’s our truck parked outside the radio station. I bet the yahoo that stole it is inside the radio station right now.

Narrator: Harvey grabs a large piece of wood and uses it as a battering ram against the radio station door. The two dog catchers fall over and roll onto the carpet of the radio station.

Rick: Hey you goofs! Have you ever heard of doorknobs and turning the handle first?

Dwight: Rick, look at our station! Now we have splinters of wood to go with all of broken glass. Everybody who come to the station is trying to destroy the place.

Harvey: Don’t get your shirt in a knot Dwight. Just send the repair
bills over to City Hall. The City of Roswell will reimburse you for all the damage.

Hoss: Yeah, we’re dog catchers here on official city business. Some guy stole our truck. He’s got to be in here.

Harvey: Right, we were trying to take the guy to the hospital and he repays us by stealing our truck.

Rick: Well, he’s not here now.

Dwight: A few minutes ago we had our special guest Mick Russell on the air. He just starting telling our listeners about how he was kidnapped by the Air Force and thrown in the back of a truck with a bunch of dead aliens.

Harvey: Did he say that he got a shot of horse tranquilizer in the butt while he was at the hospital?

Rick: How did you know?

Hoss: Because this Mick Russell is the guy who stole our truck.

Harvey: Where is Mick now? He’s got the keys to our truck.

Dwight: Who knows? The same two Air Force guys kidnapped him again while he was on the air for the second time today.

Rick: Yeah, twice in one day. That boy is having a real bad day.

Dwight: You think Mick’s having a bad day? Poor baby. How about us? Our radio station has been trashed twice today.

Hosss: So where do you think the Air Force guys took Mick?

Rick: Well, there are two possibilities. One is that they took him back to the Air Force Base for questioning. The other is they took him out to the desert to shoot him..

Dwight: Rick, The Air Force wouldn’t take Mick out into the desert to shoot him. Heaven forbid!

Rick: Have you ever heard about Hiroshima, Dwight?

Dwight: Oh, yeah. I hear what you’re saying now.

Rick: That’s the reason that I’m the lead broadcaster and you’re my assistant.

Dwight: I didn’t know that. I always thought it was because you married the owner’s daughter.

Harvey: Come on, Hoss. We’ve got to get the keys to the truck back.
We’ll go to the Air Force Base first. If Mick’s not there then we’ll search the desert for him.

Hoss: One problem, Harv. How do we get out to the desert?

Harvey: We”ll go to the compound and get your car.

Hoss: But what if our supervisor recognizes us?

Dwight: Look you guys, there’s some cartoon character costumes in our storage room. Feel free to use them as disguises.

Narrator: Hoss dresses up as Elmer Fudd and Harvey dons the Yosemite Sam costume. As Harvey and Hoss leave the radio station Rick and Dwight are laughing so hard that tears are running down their cheeks.

Rick: Dwight, whose keys are those hanging on the hook in the office?

Dwight: I don’t know. I found them on the floor after the Air Force
guys took Mick away.

Harvey: Our best bet is to head towards Corona. They have lots of huge sand dunes out there.

Hoss: Good thinking Harv. Corona is far enough away that no one would think of looking for his body out there.

Harvey: Nobody but us, you mean. We can stop in Corona and pick
up a couple of burgers at Burger King.

Hoss: We better stop at Moe’s Garage before we leave town. We’ll have to fill up with gas if we’re driving all the way to Corona.

Harvey: Good idea. I gotta use the washroom real bad.

Narrator: Harvey and Hoss pull up to the gas pumps at Moe’s Garage. While Moe is busy with a customer, two of his mechanics
Homer: Hey, Les. Get a load of this. One of those guys in the the car looks just like Elmer Fudd and his friend looks like Yosemite Sam.

Les: They’re wearing costumes Homer. There’s a big rodeo going on in Corona this weekend. Those two dudes are probably rodeo clowns.

Narrator: Moe finishes up at the cash register and then walks up to
the gas pumps. How much gas do you need boys?

Hoss: Can you fill her up? We’re driving all the way to Corona.

Moe: For the big rodeo? I noticed your costumes. You guys must be rodeo clowns.

Harvey: No, we’re dog catchers. We’re on our way to get the keys back for our truck. Some rancher has them. We heard that some Air Force guys buried him in the desert.

Moe: What?!

Hoss: Harvey doesn’t know what he’s saying. He’s out of his head
with the heatstroke. We just finished working this kid’s birthday party. We
were out in the hot sun for a couple of hours. It gets mighty hot in these costumes. We’re in a hurry to get to the rodeo so we didn’t have time to change out of our costumes.

Harvey: Yeah, and my stomach is starting to feel a little queasy. Can I get the keys to your washroom?

Roswell Book Cover 8

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