Chapter 19 of Roswell Revisited 2014

Narrator: Harvey and Hoss pull up to the gas pumps at Moe’s Garage. While Moe is busy with a customer, two of his mechanics.

Homer: Hey, Les. Get a load of this. One of those guys in the the car looks just like Elmer Fudd and his friend looks like Yosemite Sam.

Les: They’re wearing costumes Homer. There’s a big rodeo going on in Corona this weekend. Those two dudes are probably rodeo clowns.

Narrator: Moe finishes up at the cash register and then walks up to
the gas pumps. How much gas do you need, boys?

Hoss: Can you fill her up? We’re driving all the way to Corona.

Moe: For the big rodeo? I noticed your costumes. You guys must be rodeo clowns.

Harvey: No, we’re dog catchers. We’re on our way to get the keys back for our truck. Some rancher has them. We heard that some Air Force guys buried him in the desert.

Moe: What?!

Hoss: Harvey doesn’t know what he’s saying. He’s out of his head
with the heatstroke. We just finished working this kid’s birthday party. We
were out in the hot sun for a couple of hours. It gets mighty hot in these costumes. We’re in a hurry to get to the rodeo so we didn’t have time to change out of our costumes.

Harvey: Yeah, and my stomach is starting to feel a little queasy. Can I get the keys to your washroom?

Moe: The washroom’s all boarded up. Two guys from the Health Department shut her down this morning. They said they were listening to Rick and Dwight’s radio show and heard that my washroom was filthy.

Harvey: What can I do? I got to go real bad.

Moe: Well, there’s a big cactus plant growing behind the garage. Nobody can see you from the road.

Narrator: Harvey gets behind the big cactus plant and tries to unzip his costume. The zipper gets stuck and Harvey has to cut a hole in the backside of the costume with his Swiss Army knife. Harvey leans back on the cactus plant in order to get his balance. His butt gets punctured by the thorns sticking out of the cactus plant.

Harvey: Yow! That hurts. There’s nothing like getting cactus prickles in your butt when you’re trying to do your business. Hey, Hoss, can you bring me some toilet paper? I left a roll in the glove compartment.

Narrator: While waiting for Hoss, Harvey starts pulling some of the
cactus prickles out of his backside. He turns around quickly to hear
rattling and hissing sounds behind him.

Hoss: Watch out Harv! There’s a big rattler coiled up and ready to strike, right behind you. Don’t worry I’ll try to scare him off.

Narrator: Hoss hurls the roll of toilet paper at the rattlesnake. This just startles the snake. The rattlesnake retaliates by biting Harvey in the backside.

Harvey: Hoss, get me to the Roswell Hospital fast! I need to get a shot of the antidote for the snake venom.


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