Chapter 21 of Roswell Revisited, A Play


Jim: Well, there’s a Burger King and a 7-11. It’s about a two hour ride to Corona from here. If you guys are really starving I’ve got a couple of old, stale boxes of Animal Crackers in the car. Well, hop in boys. I’m running an errand for the General.

Steve: Thanks a lot, man. We really appreciate it.

Narrator: Harry and Steve get in the back of Jim’s old Volkswagen Bug. The two convicts introduce themselves to Jim.

Jim: Hey, Harry. How come you’re wearing wrestling trunks and boots?

Harry: Well, during my last match, two criminals broke into the dressing room and stole all my street clothes.

Jim: Man, you really have to be some kind of low life to steal another dude’s clothes. It’s really gets hot in the daytime but by nightfall it’s awful chilly out in these parts. We’ll find you a new set of clothes when we get back to Corona. It won’t be easy though, Harry. You’re a pretty big guy.

Steve: Harry’s stage name is the Masked Mauler. Put on your mask Harry.

Jim: Man, that mask is cool! When’s your next match?

Steve: I’m the Mauler’s manager. We’re out here scouting for a new territory for the Mauler to wrestle in. He’s barred from all our old territories because he has a nasty habit of hanging promoters over the

bridges of local rivers. Mauler gets really upset when promoters don’t book him in the main event. I’m going to register Harry for some anger management classes in the fall. Hey, Jim, do you know of any wrestling promoters out in these parts?

Jim: Yeah I do, General Kane. He’s the guy I’m running this errand for. He says that these wrestling cards are good for the troop’s morale. I’ll tell you what. You buys boys ride back with me to Roswell after I finish this errand. The General might be interested in booking the Masked Mauler. He likes to book wrestlers with lots of attitude.

Steve: Gee, Thanks Jim. We could sure use the work.

Jim: One thing I should warn you about. General Kane doesn’t believe that wrestling is fake. He wants to see plenty of blood and pile drivers done right on the cement floor outside the ring.

Harry: Well the General has nothing to worry about. I’ll give him all the blood, guts and pile drivers he wants. Good to know that some people up there know the truth. Wrestling is not fake!

Narrator: Harvey and Hoss, the two dogcatcher start walking back do and in about thirty minutes make it back into the downtown area of Roswell.

Harvey: Look, Hoss. There’s our truck parked outside the radio station. I bet the yahoo that stole it is inside the radio station right now.

Narrator: Harvey grabs a large piece of wood and uses it as a battering ram against the rebuilt radio station door. The two dog catchers fall over and roll onto the carpet of the radio station.

Rick: Hey you goofs! Have you ever heard of doorknobs and turning the handle first?

Dwight: Rick, look at our station! Now we have splinters of wood to go with all of this broken glass. Everybody who comes to the station is tries to destroy the place.

Harvey: Don’t get your shirt in a knot Dwight. Just send the repair
bills over to City Hall. The City of Roswell will reimburse you for all the damage.

Hoss: Yeah, we’re dog catchers here on official city business. Some guy stole our truck. He’s got to be in here.

Harvey: Right, we were trying to take the guy to the hospital and he repays us by stealing our truck.

Rick: Well, he’s not here now.
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