Ken David Stewart’s Greatest Hits (Volume 1 Excerpt 18)


Act 5 Scene 2:

Narrator: The army truck arrives at the Air Force Base. General Kane escorts Mick to a small, cold, grey interrogation room.

Mick: Get these handcuffs off me! I’m a law abiding citizen.

General Kane: Yeah, right. A law abiding citizen who hijacks a city vehicle and sics a Rottweiler on two city employees. Both those crimes are felony offenses in this state.
Mick: A felony! What do you call kidnapping a civilian and throwing him in the back of a truck full of aliens?

General Kane: Protecting our national security.

Private Enns: What were you thinking, Mick? You go on the radio telling the listeners a half-baked story about flying saucers and aliens. You scared the daylights out of everybody.

Mick: It’s the truth!

General Kane: No, the truth is that all you found was a weather balloon. We’re going to take you back to the radio station and this is what you’re going to tell everybody. You’re going to go on the air and say that you started drinking early in the morning. Your wife left you because you were losing too
much money on the ranch. So you started drowning your sorrows at Dusty’s Tavern. You wanted to get yourself some attention by telling the flying saucer story on the radio show.

Mick: No way! I’ll be the laughing stock of the town!

General Kane: Would you rather spend the next twenty years of your life in the brig?

Mick: Of course not.

General Kane: Here’s the deal, Mick. You tell the story we just told you and you’ll find yourself the proud owner of a spanking new

1947 Ford truck. Let’s just say it’s compensation for all the rough treatment we’ve been giving you.

Mick: Woo-hoo!! A new Ford truck! It’s a deal! They won’t be laughing long when they see me cruising around in my new truck.

Private Enns: You’re smarter than we gave you credit for Mick.

ufo 3

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