An Actor Gets Deputized


Act Nine Scene Three:

Narrator: Before leaving for court, Sheriff Pyle makes a phone call to Andy Griffith.

Sheriff Pyle: Andy? Elmer Pyle. What are you up to?

Andy: I’m on my way to the radio station to teach those two idiots, Dwight and Rick some manners. They’ve been dissing me all day on their show.

Sheriff Pyle: Well, maybe you could put that on hold for a little while, Buddy. Look, I need a big favor from you.

Andy: No problem. You didn’t charge me with three drunk and disorderlies last month.

Sheriff: I didn’t want to do that Andy. You are a hero to a lot of people in this town. Like I was saying I need your help. I got four perps in custody. I have to book them into the hotel overnight and I’ll need some help supervising them until they go to court for their hearings in the morning. Do you think that you and Garney Fife could stand guard outside their rooms tonight?

Andy: This sounds like real serious police work, Sheriff. You think you can get Garney and me law enforcement officer badges? Real ones I mean. Not cheap fake toy sheriff badges like they give us for the show.

Sheriff: Yeah, I got a couple of spare ones in my top desk drawer.

Andy: Fantastic! How about FBI badges? You got any of those?
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