Category: Ken David Stewart’s Greatest Hits

Alligators in the Sewers Episode Seven


Episode Seven
Sam had been burning the candle at both ends. His ambition to write novels was almost equal to his desire to become a great lead guitarist. To date, he had self published two science fiction novels. He used the Amazon platform to sell his books and was enjoying moderately good sales. Unfortunately, he required other sources of revenue to pay his bills. He got a part-time job teaching creative writing one night a week at a local community college. The rest of his income came from his cut from his band’s performances at various bars in Manhattan. With these three streams of income, Sam could usually just squeak by paying his monthly bills each month.
Sam Bradley lived in a small bachelor’s apartment in East Manhattan. He had been fortunate to find an apartment complex that had rent control. Even with this advantage, Sam was often hard-pressed to stay afloat financially and because of this, he was almost constantly stressed out.
Sam worked hard at all his endeavours. He was not a naturally gifted musician, so he practised his guitar playing daily for at least two hours. He applied an equal amount of dedication to his writing and did an admirable amount of preparation for his creative writing classes.
To add to his issues with stress and anxiety, Sam was becoming chronically fatigued. One night during one of the Raccoons’ breaks, Sam told his bass player Glenn Williams about his exhaustion. Glenn was very willing to help as they were also close friends. Glenn offered Sam a couple of little white pills. Sam asked what they were and Glenn informed him that they were Dexedrine tablets.
Glenn Williams also had to work hard as he had to pay his ex-wife a hefty amount of alimony and child support. He had to hold down a full-time job is IT technician. The small amount of money he made as the bass player for the Raccoons allowed him a little bit of spending money for himself.
Two months ago, Glenn went to see his family doctor and complained about excessive daytime sleepiness. His doctor recommended that Glenn try taking Dexedrine to see if that would help boost his energy levels. It worked like a charm and within a couple of days Glenn was totally dependent on stimulants to get them through his long days.
The Rocky Raccoons basically played classic rock and as they worked hard as a unit over the last few years, they had become very good. The Raccoons were famous in the bars of East Manhattan. They knew their audiences well and what they wanted to hear.
What was popular varied somewhat depending upon which bar they were working, but they had built up a standard set of universal favourites. The Rocky Raccoons found they could never go wrong with songs like You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC and Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne. Other sure crowd pleasers included songs such as American Woman by the Guess Who and Taking Care of Business by Bachman Turner Overdrive. They learned these two songs from their rhythm guitar player, Kevin Watts who was a transplanted Canadian born and raised in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.
Sam and Keith would sit down and write some original material whenever they got the chance and some times the band performed a couple of the original compositions during their performances.
The Rocky Raccoons were so popular that they had a group of fans who actually followed the band from bar to bar across East Manhattan. The Raccoons’ followers where nowhere near the size of the Grateful Dead’s famous Deadheads, but for a local band they had an impressive number of followers, both male and female. A couple of their female fans were groupies. The Raccoons’ groupies besides providing the band with the obvious favours and benefits were valuable for another reason. Two of their groupies also serviced the world famous bands when they played concerts in New York.
Alicia and Trixie would always put in a plug for the Rocky Raccoons when they talked to the famous musicians and bands. They would also speak with the band’s managers and promoters and encourage them to book the Raccoons as an opening act on the bands’ concert tours.
Occasionally, a well-known manager or promoter would drop by a local New York bar to see if the Rocky Raccoons were as good as Alicia and Trixie them out to be.

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Alligators in the Sewers Episode Five


Episode Five
On a sunny Saturday afternoon, Mark Kennedy woke up to the sound of his parents having an animated conversation about Donald Trump. Mark’s father, Michael Kennedy was a die- hard supporter of the controversial Republican candidate. He was an obese, but physically strong construction worker. He had been the shop steward for his union local for a long time, but over the past two years he had become disheartened with the lack of power of his local union to improve the wages and working conditions of his fellow construction workers. At the last local union meeting that he attended, the workers national representative was pushing hard to encourage the union’s local membership to vote for Hillary Clinton and the Democrats in the upcoming presidential election. Not all workers, including Mark Kennedy were impressed. Several members had taken notice of the recent campaign speeches by Donald Trump and many were beginning to think of him as the politician most likely to aid their cause.
His wife, Laura Kennedy was a strong woman. Some may even have described her as being a fierce woman. Laura hated Donald Trump’s guts and her perception of how the Republican presidential candidate mistreated women. As Mark was in the process of greeting the morning, he overheard the heated political discussion going on between his parents.
Mark could care less about politics, Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. He needed to call his friends right after breakfast as Mark wanted to invite his buddies out for a game of touch football. Mark was a big fan of the Oakland Raiders and his favorite player was the Raiders quarterback, Derek Carr. Mark usually played quarterback during Saturday’s traditional touch football game. When he was making a long pass mark Mark would imagine that he was the real Derek Carr in the process of leading his team to a fourth-quarter comeback.
Mark joined his family for a bowl of Apple Cinnamon Cheerios.
“So, what are you going to do today?” his father asked.
“After breakfast I’m going to call up some of my friends to organize a touch football game,” Mark answered.
“Are you going to play quarterback again this week?” Michael Kennedy asked.
“That’s my plan,” Mark replied.
“Can you throw passes like Brett Favre?” his father asked.
“No. Brett Favre is retired. I want to play like Derek Carr,” Mark answered.
“That’s okay. That Raider kid is pretty good. I’ve got admit,” Mark’s dad responded.
After he helped his mother do the dishes Mark went to his room and started making the necessary phone calls.
After his father gave Mark a ride to the local school grounds that included a football field complete with two sets of both goal posts at each end zone. After he got out of the car Mark saw to his two best friends, Curly and Red throwing a football around.
Both Curly and Red came by their nicknames honestly. Curly was obese but his long thick brown curly hair was his most prominent feature. Red was a tall, skinny kid who suffered from a serious case of acne. He was glad that his nickname, Red, was a description of his mullet styled. shoulder length, fiery red hair. Red’s family ancestry was Irish. When he got old enough to grow a beard it was almost certainly going to be a flaming red color as well.
Within the next ten minutes, nine other boys arrived. These kids were all grade six students at Birchwood Elementary. Once the members of the two teams were selected, Mark’s team won the coin toss and elected to be the receiving team for the first half of the game. Mark was unanimously chosen to be the starting quarterback for his squad.
The first play that Mark called in the huddle was a down and out pass pattern to the right. Red was lined up as a tight end on the right side of the line of scrimmage.
It had rained heavily the night before and the field was still damp and slippery. As Mark backpedalled and tried to get himself into a comfortable throwing stance, he slipped on the grass just as he let go of the football while attempting to pass to his intended receiver, Red.
The football floated high over Red’s head and landed somewhere in a bushy area to the right of the football field. Red volunteered to search for the football in the brush. He was starting to get all scratched up from the thorn bushes that were prevalent in the bushy outskirts on the right side of the football field. A few feet away Red could see the overthrown football. It was neatly enmeshed in the grasp of a thick bush.
As Red took a few steps in the direction of the object of the search, he also spotted what appeared to be part of an animal’s leg protruding from the thicket. The part of the leg that was visible was pearly white in color, approximately a foot-long and looked bumpy and scaly. This sight of this frightening apparition almost instantly froze the blood in Red’s veins. He was unable to move even though he desperately wanted to run away as far as possible from the object that was causing him this terror was burning inside him.
After a few minutes, he heard Mark calling for him.
“Red, are you okay in there? Did you find the football?”
There wasn’t any response to Mark’s questions. Curly came up behind Mark.
“Ah, Red’s probably just taking a leak in the bushes,” Curly said.
“No. I don’t think so,” Mark responded. “Red’s been in there too long and it’s getting me worried. I’m going in. Are you coming with me, Curly?”
“Why not? Red’s probably just hasn’t found the football yet,” he answered.
A few other boys overheard Curly and Mark talking and offered their assistance to find out what was going on with Red. As soon as the boys pushed through the thorn bushes, they were stopped in their tracks. They couldn’t believe that they were seeing. They saw Red crying as he fell to his knees. He yelled out, “Help!”

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Coach Keenan Loses It


Episode 48
Coach Brad Keenan got to the St. Vital Arena about ten minutes after Hadley arrived. He, too, needed to deliver a powerful, inspirational speech to his team. Two of his top players, injured goalie, Rick Miller and suspended defenseman, Eric Coswell would not be playing tonight. The Maplewood Cougars were not only going to miss the incredible skill set of his two top players, but also their maturity and leadership abilities. He knew that his team would not be approaching tonight’s game with a strong sense of confidence. They had all seen how their backup goalie, Miles Myers had performed in yesterday morning’s practice. They watched dejectedly as Miles let in one soft goal after another.
Brad recalled how he became so exasperated that he did something that he very rarely did. He called out one of his players publicly. Brad remembered his exact words as he verbally stripped down his young, relatively inexperienced, second string goaltender.
“Do you have any idea how much is riding on tomorrow night’s game? We desperately need a win. I know you’re not Rick Miller, but the team is counting on you to step up to the plate and make everyone forget that we don’t have the services of Rick Miller tomorrow.”
As soon as the team finished practice and arrived back at the dressing room, Brad asked Miles if he could have a word with him in the coach’s office.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you, Miles. It’s not your fault that Rick Miller won’t be able to play tomorrow. To tell you the truth, I’ve been under a ton of stress lately and this morning I let it get the best of me. I just ask that you give the team your best effort tomorrow night.”
“Thanks Coach. I know I played shitty this morning. I’ve been under a lot of stress myself. Besides knowing that I need to replace Ricky, my dad has really been on my case. You see, I bought a used car that I fell in love with yesterday. My dad was not impressed that I used up a good chunk of my college tuition savings to pay for the car. Don’t worry coach. I’m going to play my best game ever tomorrow.”

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A Spiritual Crisis


Episode 47
Norberry Knights coach, Jeff Hadley, arrived at the St.Vital Arena about ninety minutes before the start of the rematch between his team and the Maplewood Cougars. Jeff was a tall, thin man in his mid-twenties. This was his third season as head coach of the Norberry Knights juvenile hockey team. Coach Hadley was nervously pacing the rubber matted floor of the St. Vital Arena’s visitors’ dressing room. The room reeked from the stale sweat that the midget hockey team that had occupied the dressing room fifteen minutes previously left behind.
Jeff would stop pacing periodically, sit down on the players bench and would jot down some notes for the message that he wanted to deliver to his team before they started to arrive in the dressing room. Coach Hadley felt a tinge of guilt as he remembered that it was his idea to ask Glenn Davidson to viciously attack Maplewood’s star goalie, Rick Miller.
Jeff attended his local Baptist church occasionally. but he struggled a great deal with his relationship to God. Hadley was a true believer in Jesus Christ and the Bible, but Jeff would be the first to admit that his walk with the Lord left a lot to be desired in certain areas of his life. Jeff’s wife, Hillary, was very disturbed by her husband’s frequent spiritual lapses, but she had no idea of how inwardly tortured the love of her life really was.
Nobody had to tell Jeff Hadley that he lived a lifestyle of which his pastor and his wife’s friends did not approve. When his wife was not around, Jeff would often drop F bombs and assorted other profanities. He would often think to himself:
“Most of the Christians I know are a bunch of gossipy, backstabbing hypocrites. They should take their own moral inventories as it says in step five of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Why are they so concerned about my spiritual condition? I don’t judge their lifestyles. What gives them the right to judge me?
Hell, I live in a tough world. My critics think that it’s easy to have to convince husbands and fathers to buy enough life insurance to provide for their families. Do these people think it’s easy to produce a winning hockey team every year? Man, if those people only knew how much stress I carry around inside, day in and day out, I hope they would have the common decency to ease up on me. So what if I induce some might players to resort to using dirty tactics to win important hockey games? It’s a hard, competitive world we live in. I just try to prepare my players for real life.”

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Whisper Episode Eight by Ken David Stewart


Episode Eight

Tony’s smoothie recipe consisted of milk, a banana, a handful of frozen fruit, a couple of protein supplement and teaspoon of peanut butter. All he had to do was turn on the blender, wait about a minute and then pour himself a giant glass of his freshly created smoothie.

Tony alternated drinking from his black Ford coffee cup and his maxed -out size smoothie glass. Usually he had enough for two large smoothie drinks inside the blender.

Tony appeared to be a health nut, but he had a dark side to his personality. The narcissistic side of Tony’s persona  gave him the drive to build up his body. Tony liked girls and knew that most of them preferred tough looking characters with athletic physiques. Tony had one straight, nerd like friend that was always amazed at how quickly and easily Tony picked up the hot girls. His friend, Herbie once asked Tony about the secret of his success with the opposite sex. Tony was more than ready to educate Herbie on the facts of life.

“This is how it works, Herbie. Women are not turned on by nerds. Most nerds are nice guys, but this is a negative when it comes to getting the attention of hot chicks. The babes like guys who are tough and look like they can look after themselves. Chicks like to feel protected and they would rather go with the guy who spends an hour per day in the weight room compared to some short, skinny four-eyed nerd who spends his free time using hybrid parts to build a super deluxe computer,” Tony explained

“Yeah, I hear what you’re saying Tony, but aren’t most greaser types, ‘losers’, present company not included, of course?”

You got a point there, but most girls don’t think that far ahead. Sure in a few years so probably be in the market Berkeley got conservative successful 9-to-5 lifer who loves kids. But that’s light-years away as far as they are concerned now. Right now, they are into what they call ‘cute guys’ with an attitude and a bit of an edge to them,” Tony answered.

“Yeah, but what does a girl get out of this type of relationship?” Herbie asked

“She gets some street cred and it creates some drama in her life. Look at it this way. Which guy would a woman rather talk about to her friends? A clean-cut straight arrow who spends all his spare time building over-sized computers or a guy in a black leather jacket who will pull a knife on a guy who looks the wrong way at his girlfriend?”

“So, it’s the excitement factor that tips the scales in the favor of the rough boy?” Herbie inquired.

“You’re starting to get it, Herb. It’s the pure adrenaline rush of having a boyfriend that appears to be dangerous. The woman feels safe when she’s with this kind of guy. It also gets her friends jealous and she likes that.

“How did you become so smart and articulate, Tony? You quit school halfway through grade ten? Didn’t you?” Herbie asked

“That’s true, though I was born with much more intelligence than the average person. Last time they tested my IQ, I scored in the genius category. I’m kind of I’m kind of a part-time greaser, but I read a lot. It’s not unusual for me to read two to three books a week on the average. I also have access to digital copies of all the current and relevant magazines with my subscription to Texture,” Tony explained.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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