When Drake phoned the psychologist he was told that he had an appointment available at 9:00 AM. He was also told that the appointment would be at the psychologist’s home in Transcona. Apparently, he couldn’t be bothered to drive to his downtown office on a Saturday.
Drake parked his red Ford Tempo in front of the psychologist’s house. He was struck by how modest the house looked. It was a small house painted white with red trim. Some of the paint was already faded and peeling and the grass in the front yard looked like it could use cutting. When Drake tried pushing the doorbell, he found that it didn’t work. Drake decided to try the metal knocker that appeared to have a picture of an elf carved in it. He gave the knocker three quick hits.
The door was opened by a large, burly man. He was tall, overweight and his head looked like it still hadn’t seen a brush or comb that morning.
“You must be Drake. Hi, I’m Dr. Harvey Stein. You can just call me Harvey or Harv, whichever you prefer. Sorry, I almost forgot our appointment this morning. I usually don’t see clients on Saturdays but your doctor told me that you were quite anxious and that I should see you as soon as possible.”
“Thanks, Dr. Stein. I really appreciate it,” said Drake.
“Let’s go downstairs to my study, Drake. The chairs are very comfortable down there and there’s a coffee pot there too. Do you like coffee?”
“Yes, very much. Probably too much.”
“Same with me.”
When they entered Dr. Stein’s office Drake was struck by the clutter. There were books, magazines and file folders scattered everywhere he looked. He also saw a stereo system in a corner surrounded by two piles of LPs. He could see albums by Bob Dylan and The Sex Pistols.
Gee, this doctor is cool. I hope he knows what he’s doing, thought Drake.
“So you’re a teacher from what your doctor told me,” said Dr. Stein getting up to make the coffee.
“Yes, that’s correct. Or at least I used to be,” Drake answered.
“What do you mean by ‘used to be’?
“Well, my doctor thinks that it’s time I started looking at other career options.
In fact, my wife agrees with him.”
“What do you think Drake? What do you want to do?”
“I’m not sure Dr. Stein. I don’t think I have the health and stamina to return to full time teaching,” said Drake.
The Role of Inspiration
The first thing I do after putting on the coffee in the morning is to sit down by my computer. On my computer is almost an endless source of entertainment and education. The question is what will I turn to first in the morning. Recently I have been trying to start my day on a positive note. For this reason I have been looking for things inspirational on the web. Lately, I have been listening to sermons by TD Jakes and Joel Osteen. Although these two preachers have a different style of preaching their messages are both positive in nature. My belief is that everyone needs hope. It is so easy to be brought down by this world. We are left with the challenge of carrying on in spite of the negativity that is thrown at us. This is where I find I need all the help I can get. I need to hear somebody say that my situation is not hopeless. I need somebody to say that God is not mad at me. I need somebody to say that God wants me healthy and prosperous. I need somebody to say that God still has a great future is in store for me I need to hear that I am the head and not the tail. I need to hear that God is aware of all my problems and situations and and is working to get them under control. These are just some of the reasons why I like to listen to inspirational messages in the morning.
Hope (part two)
When I fell into this depth of despair I actually hoped that my life would be cut short so that I wouldn’t have to suffer any more. A severe depressive episode can cause this type of distortion of perspective. Fortunately, I was able to come out of this depression after a couple of months. How did I do this? It had nothing to do with anything I did or didn’t do. I had people praying for me. Slowly, but surely, I started to feel better. I started to think about making new plans for my future. In other words, hope was starting to return. I had to ride out the pain and continue to survive until the depression finally lifted. This is a place I hope that I will never have to return to this dark place but I also relize that it is very possible that I will.
A couple of months ago I made a You Tube video called Hope by Brother Ken David Stewart. I was surprised to find out how many hits that this video received. A lot of its success was likely due to its promotion by my wife, Martha. The other reason for its popularity is that the message struck a chord with many people. On this video I am brutally honest. This video is still available on You Tube. To view this and other You Tube videos that I have done you can search for the “haystacks601” channel on You Tube. You can also type in Ken David Stewart on You Tube.
Due to the popular interest in this video I have decided to put into written blog form. During the months of March and April of this year I fell into a very deep and painful depression. I had recently experienced a major loss in my life and my physical health was also problematic. As a result I had for all intents and purposes, lost hope. I could not envision any kind of success or happiness in my future life. I had also lost the ability to enjoy virtually any aspect of my life. (to be continued)