Tag: school plays

Bathroom Humor: Don’t Read If You Have a Sensitive Stomach


Act Seven Scene One:

Narrator: Dusty manages to convince Lloyd that he owes it to his fans to do tonight’s interview on Rick and Dwight’s Radio Show. Lloyd staggers down the sidewalk to the radio station. Before going in he realizes he needs to take a leak really bad. Lloyd pulls up in front of Dwight’s car and sets his sights upon the back passenger tire. Dwight is looking out the window trying to see if Lloyd will show up in time for his interview. He sees what Dwight is doing and runs over to the space where the door used to be. He yells at Lloyd.

Dwight: Hey Lloyd, what are doing taking a leak on my car’s tire.

Lloyd: Sorry Dwight. I couldn’t hold it long enough to make it to your washroom on time.

Dwight: Have you been drinking at Dusty’s, Lloyd?

Lloyd: Just in the afternoon.

Narrator:
By this time Rick has joined Dwight by the open space where the door used to be. He quickly catches the gist of the situation.

Rick: Lloyd, I’m cancelling your interview for this evening. You’re so drunk that you can barely stand up straight.

Lloyd: I’ll be all right. Just put me in a chair. I have a hell of a story to tell your listeners.

Dwight: Did something unusual happen on the set of The Andy Griffin Show?

Lloyd: No, but I didn’t come here to talk about The Andy Griffin Show.

Rick: Then what are you going to talk about Lloyd? About the time you were so drunk you cut off a piece of a customer’s ear while you were giving him a haircut?

Lloyd: No, but I did that guy a favor. One of his ears was bigger than the other before I made the adjustment for him. I even took out a needle and thread and put stitches in what was left of his ear.

Dwight: Come to think of it, Rick, that is a pretty good story. Maybe Lloyd should tell it on the show tonight. If the mayor is listening he might even give Lloyd a medal for stopping the guy from bleeding to death.

Rick: Don’t be ridiculous Dwight. Lloyd would lose his day job. Who’s going to want to get a haircut from a drunk barber?

Dwight: You’re probably right. Maybe Lloyd should have trained to be a paramedic instead of a barber.

Lloyd: Look, I’ve heard enough from you two guys. I want to start my interview now, before I pass out.

Dwight: Do you think you might puke too, Lloyd?

Lloyd: Yeah, probably, just before I pass out.

Dwight: Thanks for warning us in advance Lloyd. I’ll go get a bucket from the janitor’s supply room.

Lloyd: But I’m not going to tell the story on the air about cutting off a piece of the guy’s ear. I gotta admit, though, it’s pretty funny.

Dwight: We better get started with Lloyd’s interview now Rick. It’s already past seven o’clock.

Narrator: Rick nods to Dwight in agreement and switches on the green light and the microphones.

Rick: Good evening listeners. We apologize for the late start to the evening show, but we had a few technical difficulties we needed to correct. It will be worth the wait, however. As promised, we’re going to do the interview with our very special guest, Lloyd the Barber, one of the stars of the Andy Griffin Show.

Lloyd: Not one of the stars of The Andy Griffin Show, the star of the Andy Griffin Show. The rest of the cast aren’t stars. It’s a stretch to even call them actors.

Dwight: I’m hearing some bitterness in your voice, Lloyd.

Lloyd: No, you’re not hearing bitterness you’re hearing the truth. It’s about time somebody told the truth about that show.

Rick: Aren’t you afraid of losing your job on the show, Lloyd.

Lloyd: Ah, come on, Rick. If they fire me they may as well shut down the whole show. Besides, I still have my day job at the barber shop anyway. It’s not like I’m going to starve to death.

Dwight: How about that guy who lost part of his ear in your barber shop?

Lloyd: Shut up Dwight! First of all, that’s an urban legend and secondly, I thought we all agreed we weren’t going to discuss that incident on the show.

Rick: Okay, chill out Lloyd. Loyal listeners I apologize for Lloyd’s temper tonight. He doesn’t appear to be in a very good mood this evening.

Lloyd: And you wouldn’t be either if you had to work two jobs all the time just to make ends meet.

Rick: Well said, Lloyd. You told us when you first came in the station that you had a great news story for us.

Lloyd: Great? Great story? It’s the most important story of the century!

Dwight: Go for it, Lloyd. We’re all ears and so are our listeners.

Lloyd: Well, let me tell you this. You guys are going to owe me big time after this.
Anyway, do you guys remember that rancher you had in earlier today?

Rick: You mean Mick Russell, our guest on the morning show who the military arrested twice today?

Lloyd: Yeah, that’s him. Well, he was telling the truth. At first, I thought he was some kind of whack job until I had his story confirmed. In fact, Mick only knew part of the story. He was right about the crashed flying saucer, but he didn’t know about the aliens in the space ship.

Dwight: What? Aliens? Creatures from outer space?

Lloyd: That’s right. It’s absolutely true. A space ship, possibly two of them crashed right here in Roswell and Corona. The army found four aliens, three were DOA but one is still alive. They were doing an autopsy in Roswell Hospital on one of the dead aliens two days ago.

Rick: Who told you this and why should we believe you?

Lloyd: Because I drew a sketch of one of the creatures right here on the sleeve of my shirt. I saw a nurse from the hospital draw it on a napkin when I was at Dusty’s Tavern the other night. She didn’t know that I was making my own copy of the drawing because I was hiding behind a palm tree.

Dwight: So now you’re telling us that Dusty has palm trees growing in his bar? Does he have a beach with sand there too?

Lloyd: How can you be so stupid, Dwight? It was the artificial palm tree that Dusty keeps near the front door of the bar.

Rick: Let’ see. I’m looking at the picture on Dwight’s sleeve now. The creature has an enormous head with large oval eyes. It’s probably only about three or four feet tall by the looks of it. It’s skin color appears to be a blend of gray and green.

Lloyd: No, that’s a mistake on my drawing. While I was shading in the gray with a pencil I had to sneeze. I didn’t have any Kleenex so I had to wipe my nose on my sleeve.

Rick: So does that mean its skin color is all gray?

Lloyd: Yes, that’s how Nurse Jane described it.

Dwight: What else did the nurse say Lloyd?

Lloyd: She said there were two men with cameras in the room and that they were taking pictures during the autopsy.

Rick: Keep going Lloyd. Did she say anything else?

Lloyd: Yeah, she said that there was a terrible odor in the operating room sort of like the smell in the restroom at Moe’s Garage.

Dwight: That’s disgusting. A couple of weeks ago I was there. I was on my way home from work when I had a bad case of the runs. I had no choice but to use Moe’s washroom. I thought of doing my business behind a big cactus in the desert, but I’m too scared of scorpions, rattlesnakes and tarantulas.

Rick: You said enough already, Dwight. Our listeners don’t need to hear any more details. Most of them are probably eating their dinner now. Go on, Lloyd.

Lloyd: Well, like I was saying the smell in the operating room was so bad that Nurse Jane had to run outside to barf.
Lloyd: Oh no! I think I’m going to barf right now.
Dwight: Quick Lloyd. Puke in the bucket by Rick’s shoes.
Nattator: Lloyd aims his head as close to the bucket as he can but some vomit still manages to splatter on Rick’s shoes.

Rick: Dang it Lloyd. Look at my shoes! Hold on. We have another caller on the line. I think it’s Moe Miller, the owner of Moe’s Garage.

Moe: What’s all this talk about the supposed bad smell in the washroom at my garage?

Dwight: Well, you have to admit it gets a bit funky in your washroom, Moe.

Moe: No, I don’t have to admit to anything right now, Dwight. I’m not on trial here.

Rick: You’re right, Moe, but it would help your cause if you took a little more time cleaning up your washroom more often.

Moe: Great suggestion, Rick. The problem is that I run a business here and my goal is to make a profit from it, not to go bankrupt.

Rick: How’s cleaning up your washroom going to make you go bankrupt?

Moe: Well, obviously, you know nothing about running a business. You’ve got your cushy, clean desk job as a radio station host because you married the owner’s daughter.
Now some guys like me have to earn a living the old fashioned way, by not being afraid to get our hands a little dirty.

Dwight: That’s a very interesting rant, Moe, but you still haven’t answered Rick’s question.

Moe: I was just leading up to that. It’s simple economics. I can only afford to hire two full time guys at my service station. One worker does all the mechanical repairs and a young kid pumps the gas for the customers. All three of us are working all the time and somebody uses the washroom about every five minutes. I don’t have the staff to clean the washroom every five minutes. It would help, too, if the customers treated our washroom with more respect. They pee on the toilet seat, pee on the floor, puke in the toilet and leave barf on the rim of the toilet. They also leave toilet paper all over the floor. So I don’t appreciate you guys putting all the mess and stench all on me.

Dwight: Hold on listeners. We have another caller on the line. At this time I would advise all of listeners who have kids at home to send them out to the barn to do their chores. We are having a very volatile and controversial show this evening and you may not want your children listening to parts of it.

Rick: That’s right Dwight. Our show is billed as a family show, but tonight it has evolved into a very heated and emotional show. Hold on, I think we have Mick Russell on the line.

Mick Russell: Yeah, this is Mick Russell. Will you guys shut up? I just took a bite out of my triple patty cheeseburger when I turned on the radio.

I hear you guys talking about diarrhea, puking and the horrible stench in Moe’s washroom. I immediately tossed my cheeseburger out the window.

Dwight: What a waste Mick! You should have given it to your dog, Chopper.

Mick: You don’t have to worry about that. Chopper just ran out the back door to go look for it.

Rick: Mick, now that we’ve got you on the line what do you make of the story that Lloyd just told us?

Mick: Look, you guys, I got offers to tell my story on the Larry King Show. So you’re not going to get any more free information from me. Have a good evening boys.

Floyd the Barber 2

If You Like The Trailer Park Boys You”ll Love This


Act Seven Scene One:

Narrator: Dusty manages to convince Lloyd that he owes it to his fans to do tonight’s interview on Rick and Dwight’s Radio Show. Lloyd staggers down the sidewalk to the radio station. Before going in he realizes he needs to take a leak really bad. Lloyd pulls up in front of Dwight’s car and sets his sights upon the back passenger tire. Dwight is looking out the window trying to see if Lloyd will show up in time for his interview. He sees what Dwight is doing and runs over to the space where the door used to be. He yells at Lloyd.

Dwight: Hey Lloyd, what are doing taking a leak on my car’s tire.

Lloyd: Sorry Dwight. I couldn’t hold it long enough to make it to your washroom on time.

Dwight: Have you been drinking at Dusty’s, Lloyd?

Lloyd: Just in the afternoon.

Narrator:
By this time Rick has joined Dwight by the open space where the door used to be. He quickly catches the gist of the situation.

Rick: Lloyd, I’m cancelling your interview for this evening. You’re so drunk that you can barely stand up straight.

Lloyd: I’ll be all right. Just put me in a chair. I have a hell of a story to tell your listeners.

Dwight: Did something unusual happen on the set of The Andy Griffin Show?

Lloyd: No, but I didn’t come here to talk about The Andy Griffin Show.

Rick: Then what are you going to talk about Lloyd? About the time you were so drunk you cut off a piece of a customer’s ear while you were giving him a haircut?

Lloyd: No, but I did that guy a favor. One of his ears was bigger than the other before I made the adjustment for him. I even took out a needle and thread and put stitches in what was left of his ear.

Dwight: Come to think of it, Rick, that is a pretty good story. Maybe Lloyd should tell it on the show tonight. If the mayor is listening he might even give Lloyd a medal for stopping the guy from bleeding to death.

Rick: Don’t be ridiculous Dwight. Lloyd would lose his day job. Who’s going to want to get a haircut from a drunk barber?

Dwight: You’re probably right. Maybe Lloyd should have trained to be a paramedic instead of a barber.

Lloyd: Look, I’ve heard enough from you two guys. I want to start my interview now, before I pass out.

Dwight: Do you think you might puke too, Lloyd?

Lloyd: Yeah, probably, just before I pass out.

Dwight: Thanks for warning us in advance Lloyd. I’ll go get a bucket from the janitor’s supply room.

Lloyd: But I’m not going to tell the story on the air about cutting off a piece of the guy’s ear. I gotta admit, though, it’s pretty funny.

Dwight: We better get started with Lloyd’s interview now Rick. It’s already past seven o’clock.

Narrator: Rick nods to Dwight in agreement and switches on the green light and the microphones.

Rick: Good evening listeners. We apologize for the late start to the evening show, but we had a few technical difficulties we needed to correct. It will be worth the wait, however. As promised, we’re going to do the interview with our very special guest, Lloyd the Barber, one of the stars of the Andy Griffin Show.

Lloyd: Not one of the stars of The Andy Griffin Show, the star of the Andy Griffin Show. The rest of the cast aren’t stars. It’s a stretch to even call them actors.

Dwight: I’m hearing some bitterness in your voice, Lloyd.

Lloyd: No, you’re not hearing bitterness you’re hearing the truth. It’s about time somebody told the truth about that show.

Rick: Aren’t you afraid of losing your job on the show, Lloyd.

Lloyd: Ah, come on, Rick. If they fire me they may as well shut down the whole show. Besides, I still have my day job at the barber shop anyway. It’s not like I’m going to starve to death.

Dwight: How about that guy who lost part of his ear in your barber shop?

Lloyd: Shut up Dwight! First of all, that’s an urban legend and secondly, I thought we all agreed we weren’t going to discuss that incident on the show.

Rick: Okay, chill out Lloyd. Loyal listeners I apologize for Lloyd’s temper tonight. He doesn’t appear to be in a very good mood this evening.

Lloyd: And you wouldn’t be either if you had to work two jobs all the time just to make ends meet.

Rick: Well said, Lloyd. You told us when you first came in the station that you had a great news story for us.

Lloyd: Great? Great story? It’s the most important story of the century!

Dwight: Go for it, Lloyd. We’re all ears and so are our listeners.

Lloyd: Well, let me tell you this. You guys are going to owe me big time after this.
Anyway, do you guys remember that rancher you had in earlier today?

Rick: You mean Mick Russell, our guest on the morning show who the military arrested twice today?

Lloyd: Yeah, that’s him. Well, he was telling the truth. At first, I thought he was some kind of whack job until I had his story confirmed. In fact, Mick only knew part of the story. He was right about the crashed flying saucer, but he didn’t know about the aliens in the space ship.

Dwight: What? Aliens? Creatures from outer space?

Lloyd: That’s right. It’s absolutely true. A space ship, possibly two of them crashed right here in Roswell and Corona. The army found four aliens, three were DOA but one is still alive. They were doing an autopsy in Roswell Hospital on one of the dead aliens two days ago.

Rick: Who told you this and why should we believe you?

Lloyd: Because I drew a sketch of one of the creatures right here on the sleeve of my shirt. I saw a nurse from the hospital draw it on a napkin when I was at Dusty’s Tavern the other night. She didn’t know that I was making my own copy of the drawing because I was hiding behind a palm tree.

Dwight: So now you’re telling us that Dusty has palm trees growing in his bar? Does he have a beach with sand there too?

Lloyd: How can you be so stupid, Dwight? It was the artificial palm tree that Dusty keeps near the front door of the bar.

Rick: Let’ see. I’m looking at the picture on Dwight’s sleeve now. The creature has an enormous head with large oval eyes. It’s probably only about three or four feet tall by the looks of it. It’s skin color appears to be a blend of gray and green.

Lloyd: No, that’s a mistake on my drawing. While I was shading in the gray with a pencil I had to sneeze. I didn’t have any Kleenex so I had to wipe my nose on my sleeve.

Rick: So does that mean its skin color is all gray?

Lloyd: Yes, that’s how Nurse Jane described it.

Dwight: What else did the nurse say Lloyd?

Lloyd: She said there were two men with cameras in the room and that they were taking pictures during the autopsy.

Rick: Keep going Lloyd. Did she say anything else?

Lloyd: Yeah, she said that there was a terrible odor in the operating room sort of like the smell in the restroom at Moe’s Garage.

Dwight: That’s disgusting. A couple of weeks ago I was there. I was on my way home from work when I had a bad case of the runs. I had no choice but to use Moe’s washroom. I thought of doing my business behind a big cactus in the desert, but I’m too scared of scorpions, rattlesnakes and tarantulas.

Rick: You said enough already, Dwight. Our listeners don’t need to hear any

more details. Most of them are probably eating their dinner now. Go on, Lloyd.

Lloyd: Well, like I was saying the smell in the operating room was so bad that Nurse Jane had to run outside to barf.
Lloyd: Oh no! I think I’ going to barf right now.
Dwight: Quick Lloyd. Puke in the garbage can by Rick’s shoes.
Nattator: Lloyd aims his head as close to the bucket as he can but some vomit still manages to splatter on Rick’s shoes.

Rick: Dang it Lloyd. Look at my shoes! Hold on. We have another caller on the line. I think it’s Moe Miller, the owner of Moe’s Garage.

Moe: What’s all this talk about the supposed bad smell in the washroom at my garage?

Dwight: Well, you have to admit it gets a bit funky in your washroom, Moe.

Moe: No, I don’t have to admit to anything right now, Dwight. I’m not on trial here.

Rick: You’re right, Moe, but it would help your cause if you took a little more time cleaning up your washroom more often.

Moe: Great suggestion, Rick. The problem is that I run a business here and my goal is to make a profit from it, not to go bankrupt.

Rick: How’s cleaning up your washroom going to make you go bankrupt?

Moe: Well, obviously, you know nothing about running a business. You’ve got your cushy, clean desk job as a radio station host because you married the owner’s daughter.
Now some guys like me have to earn a living the old fashioned way, by not being afraid to get our hands a little dirty.

Dwight: That’s a very interesting rant, Moe, but you still haven’t answered Rick’s question.

Moe: I was just leading up to that. It’s simple economics. I can only afford to hire two full time guys at my service station. One worker does all the mechanical repairs and a young kid pumps the gas for the customers. All three of us are working all the time and somebody uses the washroom about every five minutes. I don’t have the staff to clean the washroom every five minutes. It would help, too, if the customers treated our washroom with more respect. They pee on the toilet seat, pee on the floor, puke in the toilet and leave barf on the rim of the toilet. They also leave toilet paper all over the floor. So I don’t appreciate you guys putting all the mess and stench all on me.

Dwight: Hold on listeners. We have another caller on the line. At this time I would advise all of listeners who have kids at home to send them out to the barn to do their chores. We are having a very volatile and controversial show this evening and you may not want your children listening to parts of it.

Rick: That’s right Dwight. Our show is billed as a family show, but tonight it has evolved into a very heated and emotional show. Hold on, I think we have Mick Russell on the line.

Mick Russell: Yeah, this is Mick Russell. Will you guys shut up? I just took a bite out of my triple patty cheeseburger when I turned on the radio.

I hear you guys talking about diarrhea, puking and the horrible stench in Moe’s washroom. I immediately tossed my cheeseburger out the window.

Dwight: What a waste Mick! You should have given it to your dog, Chopper.

Mick: You don’t have to worry about that. Chopper just ran out the back door to go look for it.

Rick: Mick, now that we’ve got you on the line what do you make of the story that Lloyd just told us?

Mick: Look, you guys, I got offers to tell my story on the Larry King Show. So you’re not going to get any more free information from me. Have a good evening boys.

Revised Edition of The Lake Demon Chapter Ninety-Six


Chapter Ninety-Six
Robert Richard’s was proud of his son for earning a university degree and becoming a certified teacher. John was hired by a school district and taught at both the elementary and junior high levels for several years. John started to dislike his job more with each passing year. He finally became so stressed that he had to take a year’s leave of absence and go on long term disability. After his leave was over John made a decision not to return to full time teaching.
Over the next few years John tried out a series of new jobs attempting to make a career change. He had a succession of jobs including stints as a car salesman and various positions that primarily involved physical labor.
On an occupational level none of these jobs really worked out for John. Realizing that he was still two decades shy of retirement age John signed on with a school division as a substitute teacher. To supplement his meagre income John also worked part time at a group home. Although he didn’t consider this to be an ideal situation, he could live with it as he had found an avocation that he really enjoyed, that being writing fiction novels. John dreamed of one day having a successful self- supporting career as a professional writer.
John knew that his father was very disappointed that his son had for the most part left a respectable career as a teacher. He could not understand his son’s desire for a career as a writer. Robert knew that this was causing problems in John’s marriage and he wished that his son would give it up for the sake of his family if for no other reason. Robert thought that it was highly unlikely that John could ever make a decent living as a writer.
Picture 55

Chapter 16 of Roswell Revisited 2014


Author’s Note:
It is now time to bring back two characters from my previous play, The Escaped Convict. The two characters are Steve Wyler and Harry O’Finsky. In my last play, Steven Wyler and Harry

O’Finsky are in a wrestling match with Hulk Hogan and Jake the Snake Roberts. There is mass chaos breaking out in the ring. Steve Tyler grabs Harry O’Finsky who is disguised as the Masked Mauler. The two convicts run backstage and enter an old storage room near the back of the arena.

Steve: We’ll be safe in here for a little while, Harry. I had to get you out of the ring before we both got arrested and even killed. As I was looking around the arena I saw the Warden as well as those two cons we stole the smokes from last month.

Harry: Man, it’s mighty dark and dusty in this old shed. Hey, Steve, look over there. What’s that big fancy wheel with all the fancy
colors?

Steve: I don’t know. Let’s check it out.

Harry: Wow, this thing is cool, Steve. It looks like some kind of antique car. It has two seats, a lever and a dash that’s all lit up.

Narrator: Steve and Harvey get into the seats of the car. Harry can’t resist pushing some buttons on the dash and pushing the lever forward. In a few seconds, the vehicle starts to shake and rattle and all Harry and Steve can see is a swirling kaleidoscope of colors. In a few minutes their vehicle crashes in a farmer’s field.

Steve: What just happened? Where the heck are we?

Harry: Hey, look what it says on the dash. It says location Roswell, New Mexico, year 1947.

Steve: Harry, we just took a trip in a time machine! What luck! Who would’ve thought of a better escape?

Gary: Ha! Ha! I bet the Warden and and Sam and Charles are looking all around the arena for us right now. Ha! Ha!

Steve: I can just see those two guys now. Sam and Charles running around all over the arena looking for us and the Warden and the guards chasing after them.

Harry: Meanwhile we’re in a different state fifty years in the past!

Steve: Man, I’m getting pretty hungry. We need to find a truck stop. Maybe if we do some walking around we’ll find a highway.

Harry: Good idea. We’ll wait for a trucker on his way into town.

Narrator: Jim, the security guard is now driving down the highway on his way to Corona to get the General his burgers, pepperoni sticks and cigars. He sees two hitch hikers trying to thumb a ride. Jim stops to pick them up.

Jim: Howdy boys, I’m going as far as Corona. Will that help you out?
alien book cover 1

Chapter 13 of Roswell Revisited 2014


Jim: One thing I should warn you about. General Kane doesn’t believe that wrestling is fake. He wants to see plenty of blood and pile drivers done right on the cement floor outside the ring.

Harry: Well the General has nothing to worry about. I’ll give him all the blood, guts and pile drivers he wants. Good to know that some people up there know the truth. Wrestling is not fake!

Narrator: Harvey and Hoss, the two dogcatcher start walking back down and in about thirty minutes make it back into the downtown area of Roswell.

Harvey: Look, Hoss. There’s our truck parked outside the radio station. I bet the yahoo that stole it is inside the radio station right now.

Narrator: Harvey grabs a large piece of wood and uses it as a battering ram against the rebuilt radio station door. The two dog catchers fall over and roll onto the carpet of the radio station.

Rick: Hey you goofs! Have you ever heard of doorknobs and turning the handle first?

Dwight: Rick, look at our station! Now we have splinters of wood to go with all of broken glass. Everybody who come to the station is trying to destroy the place.

Harvey: Don’t get your shirt in a knot Dwight. Just send the repair
bills over to City Hall. The City of Roswell will reimburse you for all the damage.

Hoss: Yeah, we’re dog catchers here on official city business. Some guy stole our truck. He’s got to be in here.

Harvey: Right, we were trying to take the guy to the hospital and he repays us by stealing our truck.

Rick: Well, he’s not here now.

Dwight: A few minutes ago we had our special guest Mick Russell on the air. He just starting telling our listeners about how he was kidnapped by the Air Force and thrown in the back of a truck with a bunch of dead aliens.

Harvey: Did he say that he got a shot of horse tranquilizer in the butt while he was at the hospital?

Rick: How did you know?

Hoss: Because this Mick Russell is the guy who stole our truck.Roswell Book Cover 8

Roswell 1947 page twenty-six


Roswell 1947 page twenty-six

Harvey: Right, we were just trying to take the guy to the hospital and he repays us by stealing our truck.

Rick: Well, there’s just Dwight and me here now.

Dwight: A few minutes ago we had our special guest Mick Russell here. He was just starting to tell our listeners about how he was kidnapped by the Air Force and thrown in the back of a truck with a bunch of dead aliens.

Harvey: Did he say that he got a shot of horse tranquilizer in the butt when they took him to the hospital?

Rick: How did you know?

Hoss: Because this Mick Russell was the guy who stole our truck.

Harvey: Where’s Mick now? He’s got the keys to our truck.

Dwight: Who knows? The same two air force guys kidnapped him again while he was on the air for the second time today.

Rick: Yup. Twice in one day. That boy is having a real bad day.

Dwight: You think Mick’s having a bad day? Poor baby. How about us? Our radio stations been trashed twice today.

Hoss: So where do you think the air force guys took him?

Rick: Well there are two possibilities. One is they took them back to the Air Force Base for questioning. The other is that they took Mick way out in the desert to shoot him.

Dwight: Come on, Rick. The Air Force wouldn’t take Mick out the desert to shoot him.

Rick: Have you ever heard of your Hiroshima, Dwight?

Dwight: Oh, yeah, right. I forgot all about that.

Rick: That’s the reason that I’m they head broadcaster in you’re my assistant.

Dwight: I didn’t know that. I always thought it was because you married the owner’s daughter.

Harvey: Come on, Hoss. We’ve got to get the keys to the truck back. We”ll go to the Air Force Base first. If Mick’s not there we”ll have to search the desert for him.

Roswell 1947 page twenty-two


Roswell 1947 page twenty-two

Narrator: Floyd positioned himself behind the palm tree in the entrance to the tavern. He slowly started shuffling towards Jane’s table a few inches at a time. After approximately ten minutes Floyd was close enough to hear the conversation between Jane and Dennis.

Nurse Jane: It was just horrible Dennis. Dr. Kildare told me to go to operating room number six. When I went in I saw three surgeons crowded around the operating table. I didn’t recognize any of them. I think they were all from The Mayo Clinic. I also remember two photographers in the room. One was taking still pictures and the other camera man was using a sixteen millimeter camera. At first my view of the operating table was blocked by the surgeons, but I was almost overcome by the nauseating foul odor present in the room.

Dennis: Was it anything like the smell in the boys’ locker room at Roswell High after a big pork and beans supper? After a basketball game I mean, when they’re all hot and sweaty?

Jane: You mean the odor of gas combined with sweat? That bites! No, not quite as bad as that. More like the restroom at Moe’s Garage.

Dennis: Moe’s? Wow, that is bad. My stomach’s feeling queasy just thinking about it.

Jane: That’s exactly what happened to me. I was only in the operating room for a few minutes before I had to run to the washroom to vomit. But before I did, one of the doctors moved out of the way and I caught a glimpse of the wretched creature lying on the operating table.

Dennis: Creature? What kind of creature? Why would they treat an animal in a hospital for people?

Jane: It wasn’t an animal or even a human being for that matter. It was short with a large gray head and enormous eyes. The surgeons had already cut open the creature’s skin and were taking out its organs. You know what was really weird, Dennis? I didn’t see any blood coming out of the creature.

Dennis: Wow!

Jane: The doctors told me that this was a top secret medical procedure and that I was never to tell anyone what I saw. They told me that if I ever did no one would ever see me or hear from me again.

Dennis: This is unbelievable! Did you say that the creature was short?

Jane: Oh yes, it would have been maybe three or four feet tall at best.